HSP Voices: When and how did you realize you are (or may be) highly sensitive?
The HSP Voices Project began in April 2023, with a goal of collecting and sharing the voices and experiences of highly sensitive people. While there are many great resources on high sensitivity (hsperson.com and sensitivityresearch.com are a couple of them), they can tend to be academic and scientific in nature. This is wonderful and much needed, but I was curious to hear more about the life experiences of HSPs and their perceptions.
This article is the first of several to come where we analyze and share both responses and stories of the HSP Voices Project participants. The project is ongoing and the survey remains open, so feel free to add your voice to the collection! We’d love to hear from you.
Exploring the Realization of High Sensitivity
In this post, we’re looking at responses to the question: “When and how did you realize you are (or may be) highly sensitive?” Is your experience in learning about your sensitivity reflected in the responses below? First, we take a look first at the major themes revealed by the data collected thus far. This particular question has received 47 responses to date.
Unveiling the Layers: Top 10 Themes of Realization and Recognition for HSPs
The survey responses revealed a few key themes. Individual responses may have fallen into one or more of these areas:
Discovery through Research and Online Resources: Finding information about high sensitivity through online sources such as books, articles, forums, blogs, videos, podcasts, and internet searches.
Self-Reflection and Personal Awareness: Recognizing heightened sensitivity through introspection, self-observation, or personal experiences, often from a young age.
Professional Guidance and Therapist Recognition: Discovering high sensitivity through the guidance of therapists, counselors, or mental health professionals who recognized the traits of high sensitivity.
Insights from Personal Connections and Observations: Realizing high sensitivity through personal connections, conversations, or comments from friends, family members, or peers.
Sensory Sensitivities and Overwhelm: Becoming aware of heightened sensitivities to sensory input, such as sounds, smells, touch, and chemicals, and experiencing overwhelm or sensory overstimulation.
Emotional Awareness and Empathy: Discovering high sensitivity through heightened emotional awareness, empathic abilities, and unique emotional responses to situations or interactions with others.
Co-occurrence with Other Conditions: Recognizing high sensitivity alongside other conditions or traits, such as introversion, Asperger's, ADHD, anxiety, depression, or OCD, indicating an overlap between these characteristics.
Validation from External Sources and Observations: Receiving external validation from therapists, professionals, friends, or family members who recognized and labeled the individual as sensitive or empathic.
Unique Emotional Responses and Empathic Abilities: Realizing high sensitivity through distinct emotional responses and the ability to empathize deeply with others.
Recognition through Introspection and Self-Observation: Discovering high sensitivity through self-reflection, introspection, and careful observation of one's own experiences and reactions.
Voices from the HSP Community
The sections below present answers the question “When and how did you realize you are (or may be) highly sensitive?.” Other than slight editing for spelling, clarity, or removal of identifying information, the answers are shown as entered in the HSP Voices survey. My hope is that other sensitive people (perhaps you) see yourself in these responses and know you are not alone, and that you are welcome here.
There is a whole community out there of other HSPs. While their experiences vary and represent a diverse set of experiences, cultures, and backgrounds, my hope is that you find encouragement in hearing other voices that resonate with your own.
I realized I was highly sensitive when I did some research or found a book, blog, forum, or podcast…
“I was watching Ted talks on YouTube and came across a video of someone giving a Ted talk about being HSP. A month or so later, I got recommended a YouTube video by Psych2Go about HSPs and I felt that I related to it a lot. I even felt really excited watching it! From there, I searched a lot more about it.”
“I read Dr. Aron’s book back in 2003 and it completely blew my mind. I saw so much of myself in her description of HSPs.”
“I was about 25 years old when i came across the writings of Elaine Aron, did the test and realized i was HSP.”
“I did not put a name to it until I read your post. :-) But over the past few years as I have become older and more introspective, I have realized that I am much more aware of and sensitive to other peoples emotions then most of the people around me. I tend to overthink how my actions will affect other people.”
“I didn’t hear the term until last year, but it made a bunch of things make sense. Taking Dr. Aron’s self-assessment made me realize the label fits.”
“In my late 40’s. Spending some time on Reddit and found people with similar traits.”
“When I was researching introvertism and realised that there is an overlap with HSPs. It was obvious to me straight away that I shared almost all traits of being an HSP.”
“In my 40s, once I started reading that there is such a thing as being highly sensitive. Looking back, I can check off so many of the HSP criteria.”
“As an adult, I heard the concept mentioned on a podcast.”
“I had depression back in high school and searched for help on google with the key word being ‘sensitivity’. The rest is history.”
“Recently based on articles for anxiety and migraine”
“Sometime in my 30s when I first heard the term I knew it fit”
“I read the HSP book when I was 21 and had a moment of realization that this explained so much of how I experience the world.”
I’ve always known I was different somehow…
“I don't remember NOT knowing I was (what would be called) HSP. I was ALWAYS ‘overloaded’ somehow and just learned how to ‘manage’ it.”
“I’ve always been extremely sensitive. In middle school, I started having issues with material because we’d be assigned violent or extremely sad materials. It would take a lot out of me, I would get flashbacks to what I had to read for school and was so anxious… The label ‘highly sensitive’ I came across sometime in late high school. I’d been using the individual phrase ‘sensitivity issues’ before that, and still do so people take me seriously, but highly sensitive makes sense.”
“I've always thought of myself as sensitive and felt a bit misunderstood in my family. I came across the term 'highly sensitive person's around 6 or so, online, and felt like it described me.”
“I've always known I was different, but didn't read about HSP until my mid thirties.”
“I’ve always been searching for a way to better understand myself. I’m not sure how I came across it but I realized I met all the criteria of being an HSP and that helped a lot to not feel so alone.”
“About a year ago. I came across the term HSP online and it resonated.”
“I have known that I am highly sensitive since childhood. I first heard and identified with the term as a teenager. Later, therapists agreed that I am HSP. I am also ADHD, and there is overlap between ADHD/HSP.”
“I'm not sure that there was a moment in time but multiple situations over my life where I reflected that my experience was different from others (literally felt things differently from others as a young child, others commenting on my ability to connect with animals, children)”
“When I was younger, I was told all the time by my siblings and friends that I was ‘too’ sensitive to comments or jokes, etc. I dealt with anxiety, depression, and OCD my whole life. The most pivotal moment for me was when I had a day where I was feeling really down and had a flash of an old friend come into my mind that I hadn't seen or talked to in a long while. I decided to go on social media to see what she was up to, and I found out her brother died the day before. I realized that I was an empath and later paid more attention to my emotions that weren't easily explained. I sometimes found that when someone in my life was experiencing a life event either positive or negative, my emotions would be very unique during that time. I also then began to notice how certain energies in social settings began to have a huge effect on how I would feel and think.”
“I always knew I was ‘different’ in some way, but didn't know exactly how (me having Aspergers contributes to that as well). I came across the term HSP relatively recently (maybe 1-2 years ago) while browsing the internet and it was eye-opening for me. After some reflection, I embraced it as part of my identity.”
“When I first heard about Highly Sensitive People a few years ago. I read the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka about 1996 and have identified as Highly Spirited ever since. I think HSP and Spirited is very similar.”
“I always knew it. I've been aware of my heightened emotional and physical sensitivity since childhood.”
“I cry a lot more than other boys. And I got irritated by most clothing textures.”
I was introduced to the idea of high sensitivity by my therapist, a friend, or family…
“A few months ago, my counselor mentioned it to me. After reading about it, a lot of things started to make sense for me.”
“A counselor pointed out the trait in me a couple of years ago, when I was 20.”
“[I completed a] survey for my child, realized I had simillar challenges.”
“My therapist told me I could be HSP year ago and ever since then everything made sense.”
“I always knew I was sensitive but didn't realize is had a name until this year when my therapist suggested it.”
“I met a neighbor in distress, we talked and cried together and she told me I was HSP. She is too. Took me a year to realize HSP was a ‘thing.’ All the pieces came together.”
“At age 30, after the passing of my brother, when my parents revealed that he was HSP, too.”
“When ppl told me Im too sensitive as a teen”
I knew I was more irritated, bothered, or impacted by sensory input and emotions…
“When I had to go to the bathroom as a child to cry because I couldn't stand to hear people chew at the dinner table.”
“Not until I was in high school, I found out about being a HSP from the internet after googling ‘why I cry so much over small things’”
“2 weeks ago. I’ve always had issues with noise and touch. I realized I am also way more emotionally present and understand sudden changes in body language that other people didn’t notice”
“I was aware I was different growing up through simple observation. People smoked regularly and worked in bars and restaurants where people smoked and I could not stand to be around someone smoking. It made my eyes red and watery and my lungs burn and me cough and I would get a headache. The same with the ailses in stores with air fresheners or scented candles or potpourri. I would avoid the row or hold my breathe and close my eyes while walking by quickly (to avoid the above symptoms). At the same time, I watched other people who were able to stand there and shop normally. My mom could use bleach or clean the floors with ammonia and I had to leave the area or the house. Being near that was like torture.”
I wanted to make sense of why I was so easily overwhelmed, drained, or impacted by others’ emotions…
“5 years ago I was recovering from brain surgery, which was the most overwhelming experience ever. I couldn’t be in a grocery store due to overwhelm and sensory overstimulation. I realized how I had been forcing myself to push through my sensitivity for my entire life until I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“A few years ago I realized I may be an empath when I actually noticed feeling drained around people, and had a hard time functioning around extremely negative people.”
“When I started working as a church secretary. I noticed a lot of members carrying trauma around. It was too much for me and I had to quit. This was last year. I had symptoms before but this was the big revelation that it was a problem for me.”
“I had never really heard the term until after my son was born in 2013. As he aged, he developed symptoms of sensory integration disorder (formally diagnosed at age 5). It was around then that I realized that I struggle with competing inputs - sounds, thoughts, feeling hot or cold, time pressure. I basically shut down and have to move away from everyone so I can melt down when I get overloaded. I deal with being highly sensitive and having ADHD - I don't know if it's the same thing/lens but that's how I experience the world. Everything that I experience through my senses seems to have the same volume/value - it's hard to prioritize what to focus on or know what's the most important. It's only more recently that I actually paid attention to receiving the various ‘inputs’ - before I would be upset, irritated, stressed, or worried but have no idea why.”
Realization of High Sensitivity - Elaine Aron
These shared experiences reflect the findings of leading researchers of sensitivity. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, says that individuals who are highly sensitive often recognize it at an early age, as early as four or five.
They become aware that they are overwhelmed by everyday stimuli in ways that others don't seem to be. They know that their reactions are often more powerful than those of other people, and they try to hide or control them. But, if they don't get the right help, this can lead to low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety. Aron also notes that highly sensitive people (HSPs) are often misunderstood, as they will often appear shy and aloof. She encourages HSPs to seek out support from people who understand their unique needs and to carry out activities that are right for them.
Supporting High Sensitivities - Other Leaders in the Field
Other leaders in the highly sensitive field have echoed Aron’s sentiments, noting that feeling overwhelmed by everyday stimuli is one of the hallmarks of high sensitivity. For example, Dr. Ted Zeff emphasizes the importance of self-care for HSPs, especially when it comes to setting boundaries. He notes that HSPs can become overwhelmed by too much input, which can lead to exhaustion and stress.
Dr. Tracy Cooper, meanwhile, encourages HSPs to recognize their strengths and to nurture their unique gifts so that they can become more aware of their environment and the emotions of those around them. With the right support, HSPs can learn to access their gifts and use them to create an emotionally and spiritually rich life.
Conclusion
The journey of discovering and embracing one's high sensitivity is a deeply personal and transformative experience. Through research, self-reflection, personal connections, and professional guidance, individuals become aware of their unique traits and begin to understand the depth of their sensitivity.
Sensory sensitivities, emotional awareness, and empathic abilities play a significant role in this realization. Validation from external sources and the recognition of co-occurring conditions further affirm their identity as highly sensitive individuals.
Ultimately, the discovery of high sensitivity brings a sense of validation, understanding, and belonging, as individuals find solace in knowing they are not alone in their experiences. Embracing high sensitivity opens doors to self-acceptance, self-care, and a deeper connection with others who share similar traits.
It is a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and finding one's rightful place in a world where sensitivity is a unique and valuable gift.